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Cartomancy Reading of a Hallmark Joker

As mentioned in a previous post, I planned to do an abbreviated cartomancy reading for this vintage Hallmark Joker and here we are.

The source information for the reading comes from Wenzell Brown and his book How to Tell Fortunes With Cards as used on my cartomancy blog that has become dormant. Not out of insouciance but rather a timidity towards pandering for new reading victims.

Since this is a person-less reading and I've come up with the idea the burden of its results fall upon me and the possible symbolism relating to said card. Each card's designation will link to a summary of what the card "means" as described by Mr. Brown.

Was I Fated to find and interpret this card? But of course I was or else I wouldn't be doing it. Has anybody done it before me? A question for the ages. Let's do this.


First Card:


As the central focus card and personally chosen and controlled by the Joker it serves as the focus of the reading. 

"The King of Hearts represents a man of boundless good will and integrity. He is straightforward, dependable and mild-tempered. Outwardly he is uncomplicated and frequently conceals his feelings with gruffness; often he is inarticulate, his kindness being shown by deeds rather than words. Because of this, he may be regarded as insensitive and incapable of understanding the more intricate personalities of others."

I am not a person of good will in the general sense but mostly because I don't believe that it is reciprocated in general. The rest is a mixed bag of generalities which could fit most people at any given time. As I've stated before in my nearly 20 readings (which I really need to get back to) the Face Cards are an unreasonable mirror cast upon people with broad swaths of commonality in a world of diverse personalities. One has to pick and choose intent in such instances. In this case the onus is all on me. I promise to abbreviate most of my ruminations past this point.

This King, myself by default, is said to be hiding his feelings in inarticulateness. Nyet and nyet. I am no king and my heart is dripping off my sleeve and onto the floor like spent tumescence and tread upon and slime-dregged into oblivion. 

Second Card:


Pleasure! Joy! Merriment! I am not a pleasure-seeker in the general sense of the word so this seems wasted on me. Nonetheless, the card portends to a widened social life and a celebration of life and people. Which sounds like a horrible time.

Third Card:


Artistic expression, chaos, a quickness of mind and a wandering spirit. I can't deny some of this. With clubs in the majority here it bespeaks of social activities with dreaded people! Forcolar green is people!

Fourth Card: 


The Queen of Clubs represents a lonely woman who, though outwardly friendly, is inwardly searching for meaning. She is flighty but loves beauty though oft in a misconstrued sense because she is not sure of herself. Which sounds like a nightmare scenario that I would encounter and become disconsolate over. Avoid this Queen, Robert J.

Fifth Card:


The poet John Berryman one spoke of "inner resources" and his lack thereof which caused him to get bored, drink, womanize and ultimately jump off a bridge while waving to a passer-by. Myself, thanks to this card, seemingly am imbued with inner resources. Recognizing the stupidity of my life circumstances, this is a given. It's an involuntary act and will benefit me against the shit storms both coming and going. Don't I know.

Sixth Card:


Ease of mind or personal success? I've always chosen the former even to my own detriment. You must live with yourself so I've always chosen to do me.

Seventh Card:


The Ten of Diamonds reinforces what the Six of Diamonds portends. Peace of mind trumps a greater piece of the pie of life! Haha. A thick slice of fucking cheesecake anybody?

Eighth Card:

Three of Hearts

The Three of Hearts represents a disappointment in love, CHECK, a minor setback in one's plans, CHECK CHECK or an error in judgement CHECKMATE! Realized self-delusion is par for the course with this card.


So what have we learned here? That I am screwed, that I know it and that I will persevere because I have inner resources. Ginchy!

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